lost for words .

i`ve learned something about myself this year . if i put all my energy & focus on something, nothing can distract me from what i want . march 2, 2009 imade the biggest commitment to someone, because ilove this person with all i have . and no this is not no puppy love, ive lived with this person for about a year now . honestly ive never been soo infatuated with someone, ive never looked at someone the way ilook at this person . bt honestly i have come to my breaking point about 2 weeks ago . whhhhhy put so much energy into someone when they arent given the same or more bacck ? something that was once so genuine. iremember about a year ago, iwas looking at 3 of my bestfriends who were having problems in their relationships, like " wtf are you doing? we are young F*** a nigga" like seriously i wass on that kind of tip . and i always wondered whyy they wouldnt just leave, like it couldnt be that hard . until i was put in the same situation . when i leave i feel like i cant breathe, all i can think about is you . idont wanna move, talk , nothing . if im not with you im not happy, period . im not over exaggerating . my biggest feaar is that if i leave, iwont find someone like you . But, i deserve to be HAPPY .

followers .

I want to encourage people to follow my blog . iwill reveal a lot annd
talk about a lot of deep things . please contact me if you would like to
see a post of something in particular .
also follow me on twitter at twitter.com/shaabby myspace.com/shaa_bella
or my facebook . im actively on all 4 .

-- shaa .

2009 holidays .

since the lost of my great grandmother a little earlier this yeaar
holidays haven't been how they used to be . normally I would be
ecstatic for a holiday, to be with my family was the best . this year I
wasn't around for easter or thanksgiving . 1 yr ouutta 18yrs ihavent
attended a family gathering . im a little saddened by it, I know that I
am growing apart from my family due to certain events [ that's a whole
different blog ] lol . lets see what happens xmass .
--
Sent from my T-Mobile Sidekick?

idecided .

thaat iwould like to come back to my blogging, as you can see ihavent blogged for a yeaar & summ. and even then i was rarely on my own blogg, ifeatured as an author on the welcome to the circle blogg . now its time to do my own thing . you would be suprised if you knew half of whats happened in this past year, a lot of huge changes . bt from now on i would like to take you guys on a journey with me . where are we going ? no suure . whever the wind blows .lol